Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God—I say this to your shame. – 1 Cor 15:33-34
In an ideal environment, all our relationships would be healthy.
In a perfect world, there would be no confusion or conflicts.
In a utopia, there would be no racial tension, tribal wars, or ethnic cleansing.
The Christian believes that one day the Prince of Peace will place the government on His shoulder.
Swords and spears will be recycled into gardening tools. Weapons of mass destruction will no longer be useful because nation will not go to war against nation. In fact, there will be no need for military training schools. (Isaiah 9:6)
But until that day comes, we have to confront evil in our fallen world.
We all have to deal with difficult people at church; negative people at work, and sometimes, unsaved relatives at home.
It is not possible for us to segregate all the people we don’t like or the people who aren’t like us, on a desert island.
It is not possible for us to avoid interacting with everyone we disagree with.
In fact, it is not Christ-like to avoid non-believers.
Christ commands us to be salt in a decaying society and light in our dark world.
We can’t quarantine ourselves from “sinners”, especially when Jesus ate with them.
We can’t isolate ourselves from those who are “not sanctified”. How will they believe if we don’t preach to them?
But let’s be honest: We are not as perfect as we pretend to be.
- We all got some habit that irritates other people. (ask your spouse or best friend)
- We all have insecurities that handicap our emotional intelligence.
- We all struggle with some fleshly behavior that rubs people the wrong way, or worst, ruins our relationship with people.
So, let’s not be too quick to throw stones of condemnation at other people who have issues just like us!
But the question remains: how do we deal with negative relationships?
Here are THREE ways to deal with relationships that drag us down instead of building us up.
Prayer
Our first step is to pray for the people who tend to pull us away from God.
Jesus tells us to pray for those who mistreat us and to pray for those who persecute us.
If we are not praying for (not about or against) the negative people in our lives, we are disobeying Christ command! (Ouch)
It’s not our job to change them, but we can ask the Lord to work in their lives and to teach us whatever he wants us to learn.
In prayer, we are to ask God to give us the wisdom and patience we need in our interactions with them.
Because you know that all it takes is one smart comment or side way look to set you off.
Perseverance
If the negative relationship doesn’t improve, then He might want you to persevere in the situation.
Perseverance implies strain and struggle.
If you feel weighted down by that relationship, perhaps God is using it to build up some spiritual muscle in your life, but that’s a different devotional.
We are quick to pray for grace when we experience difficulty, but we forget that there are two kinds of grace: delivering grace (Daniel 3) and sustaining grace (2 Cor 12:9).
Sometimes a relationship will feel like a fiery furnace and God will take you out of it. (Hallelujah!)
And there will be no sign or scent that you were ever in an unhealthy situation.
We call this: Coming out smelling like a rose.
Sometimes a relationship will feel like a thorn in the flesh and God will NOT take it out. (Help me, Jesus!)
In any event, our focus should be to walk in faithfulness to God despite the difficulty.
Make no mistake about it, while we are dealing with negative relationships, we should also cultivate friendships with godly people who can help us grow in our faith.
Perseverance comes as we spend time in God’s Word, filling our minds with truths that anchor our soul in stormy situations.
If you’re like me and have asked God why you have to put up with a negative relationship, James gives us a clue: because the testing of our faith produces perseverance
Romans tells us why we need perseverance: perseverance develops and produces character; and character, hope
Separation
In some unfortunate cases,
You may have to adjust, pause, or even break off a relationship if it’s hindering your Christian walk.
However, this NOT the first step and it should be done only AFTER much prayer and wise, godly counsel.
Remember, some relationships are meant to be permanent and some are meant for a season.
The key is for us to listen carefully to what God is telling us, even in the midst of a negative relationship.
Tos4god serves as the Senior Pastor of Richmond Christian Church in Staten Island, NY.
Source Consulted: Charles Stanley’s Daily Devotion, http://biblehub.com/, https://www.biblegateway.com
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